thus making me awesome and them whores
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
