How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Randomize
