I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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