I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
