Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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