This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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