i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
