I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
