i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
