You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
