Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
