4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize