Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
