I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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