Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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