no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
