All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
