Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
