Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
