you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
