How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
