Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
