I looked at my own cervix.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
