Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
