So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
