so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
