I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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