I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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