did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
