We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
