Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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