you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
