its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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