Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
