Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
