I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
