i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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