Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
