Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
