Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her vagine was all disorganized.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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