you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize