Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
