do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
