I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
