We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
