I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
