we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
