you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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