So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
