I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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