READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
