i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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