Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
