I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
