your room smells of hookers.
And success
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
