i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
soo... how was my night?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
