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I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
