Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's always time for handjobs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
