i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
