that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
They have beer where we have blood.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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