Little spoons don't ask big questions
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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