so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have already put on my inside pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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