apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
